Unretirement Motives

So many rumors, so many untruths. Who leaks all that stuff anyway? Regardless, I think it's time for me to set the record straight on why I'm coming back.

Reason # 1: I just want to stick it to the Packers compete. I love the game so much that the only thing that really matters to me is sticking it to the Packers playing football.

Reason #2: I want to pad my stats cement my legacy. I also want to make boatloads of money leave a legacy for fans present & future.

Reason #3: Most important, I want to see my face on ESPN as often as possible help lead the Vikings to the playoffs & hopefully the Super Bowl after I stick it to the Packers.

We good now? I knew once you heard ME explain, you'd understand....

BFTD

40% For ME

You've heard the stories about the Vikings adjusting their playbook 40%, to account for my enormous talent ME. True. Me and Brad (ever notice how I refer to my Head Coach by 1st name and all other players refer to them as Coach) have made allowances for my stellar unique brand of quarterback play.

Here's how the 40% breaks down:

10%: Throwing late down the middle into triple coverage. This includes ME motioning to receivers after the play, on camera, to put the blame on them for the interception or incompletion.

!0%: Throwing wounded ducks when I'm in the grasp of a defender, because getting sacked doesn't pat my stats. This includes throwing my O-Line under the bus even though I held the football for 10 seconds.

10%: Going for the big strike, instead of just going for the 1st down & moving the chains. Does anyone really remember how many 1st downs Joe Montana made?

5%: Forcing the ball to a receiver instead of checking down to a running back. When you check down & the running back racks up big yeards, who get the credit? Not ME.

5%: Calling audibles, trying to prove I am smarter than the coach and bigger than the team.

Now, that's what I call a playbook...

BFTD

Steve McNair

I don't know if you've heard about my good friend Steve McNair. Needless to say I am shocked & saddened and my heartfelt thoughts & prayers go out to his family & friends. I just found out about this yesterday. I've been so wrapped up with ME stuff that I must have missed it originally.

I mean, Steve & ME we're tight. Both from Mississippi, brothers on the gridiron, helping with each others charities. When did this happen anyway? I'm going have to jack up my pimps over at ESPN. They're supposed to keep ME in touch with this kinda stuff.

Rest In Peace & Godspeed Steve. May the wind be forever at your back.

Still can't believe it. I think I'll send one of my servants to get a card or something...

BFTD

Getting Close

The time is near my loyal subjects. You shall not have to wait much longer. I wish you did actually, because I despise training camp. But I also understand the pain of the little people (everyone but ME). 3 months is a long time to grovel, even though I am well worth it.

Next week the official coronation signing will take place. I give you my word. And we all know what that's worth...

BFTD

So ME

Am I hot or what? Got Playgirl on the phone as we speak. They want to see more of ME! Not sure what they mean cause I am pretty exposed in this photo. They must be talking about my left leg. It's kinda covered by my tractor...

BFTD

The Truth About The Condo

You're probably wondering why I put a $30,000 deposit on a condo in Minnesota, so let me clarify. $30K is all the pocket change I had when Deanna & ME went condo shopping. We really liked the condo and wanted to hold it until we can funnel some money out of Brett Favre Steakhouse petty cash to pay for it.

These things take time, especially when you're cultivating a "good 'ol boy" image. So, until we "officially buy" (we'll contact ESPN) the condo, please visit the Brett Favre Steakhouse. It's overpriced & has average food at best, but you're supporting a great cause (ME). So eat, drink, spend money.

BFTD